Lillian Sharon Taasaasen, Hatfield
18th February 2015
Being a student has its ups and downs, at this time my student life was filled with mostly downs. The work load of summatives was building up, and I knew I should do something about it.
But I kept procrastinating, and it made me question my abilities. Within the different subjects, did I really know anything? My ability to work – I obviously couldn’t get anything done! I thought about what the professors might say. “Finally some hard evidence of what we already knew – there is nothing in this person worth our time, no talent, no brains.” Was I good enough to do anything with my life, accomplish anything, when I couldn’t even get myself to do the assigned work?
In addition I had a crushing feeling that I failed as a friend. I was finally back home, and should do everything to catch up with my friends, inviting them over for meals, cakes and other delightful fun, as I normally do. But I had no energy. No inspiration, or love for my friends. All I had was a feeling of total failure.
I was in a difficult position, whether I should or shouldn’t be in a relationship, and what my reasons really were for doing so. What were my foundations? Were had all my strong morals, standards and clear thinking gone? Did’nt I recently know exactly what I wanted, what God had planned for me?
I thought I knew where I was going with my education, my time and talents. Suddenly I couldn’t see any of it. I sat there wondering about my entire being. Should I even have been born? How could God use me, I was a mess! And a sad one that is.
I have a bible app, although I am not using it as much as I wished I did. I read the verse of the day, and my mouth kind of made a sound of its own. It spoke to me, Colossians 3:23-24 “23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Could it have been stated any more clearly? I don’t think so. In two verses, God gave answers to all my questions, encouraging me and gave me a goal to work towards.
I shouldn’t care nor worry about what my professors, nor other students, my crush or my own mind thinks. These are not the one I should be pleasing, it’s not possible to please everyone. But it is possible to please the Lord, and I should do all my work to please the Lord, and the Lord alone. Working at the slaughter house sorting pig’s ears? Do it for God’s glory! Failing/passing my degree? Do it to honour him! All I do should be to God’s glory. Because he’s my creator, my rock and my goal!